FOX sucks hard. Whenever I turn on a TV in my house, I always have the misfortune of passing FOX as I’m looking for something as awesome as me to watch. On a good day, 11/12 of a day’s worth of FOX is worse than having a railroad spike pounded through your scrotum. There are only three shows worth watching on FOX at this point in time, and one of those shows is getting taken off FOX at the end of the season. If I have to explain which three shows those are, go kill yourself. I hate you. There are a myriad of reasons not to watch FOX, but instead of going through every single one, I’m just going through the ones I despise the most. MORE »

How about instead of having foreign countries pay their debts to America, we just pay Bono in millions of album sales?!

I’ve had a problem with Bono for quite sometime. He’s always come off as a hippy son-of-a-bitch. Well now he has yet another title to add to his name… MORE »

With the election drawing ever closer, people are constantly talking about who’s going to lead our country the best for the next four years. Who will it be? Will we continue to thrive under possibly the greatest president of all time, George W. Bush? Or perhaps his term will end with another up and coming genius coming to power in John Kerry. While people argue about who will do what to make this country better, I decided that it would be un-American to not share my opinion on each party. I’m always asked whether I’m a Democrat or Republican, so I’m going to set the record straight. Who does Rigolega believe will lead this country better? Kerry or Bush? Democrats or Republicans?

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Believe me, there are a ton of phrases I hate, and eventually I’ll get around to sharing all of them with everyone. But just for the sake of your mortal soul, I’m going to share with you, the querulous dumbass, three phrases that should never be uttered while in my presence lest you have the urge to have your spine torn out through your ass. MORE »

The other day I was out kicking ass, being awesome and eating some beef jerky when I walked into some corner store. I walked up to the counter with some more beef jerky and saw something that confused me. Not many things confuse me, except maybe why everyone out there is a complete dumbass, but what I saw was perplexing. Since when did condoms come in flavors? What’s the fucking point?

Really, why would you want to buy a condom, let alone a flavored condom? Condoms are used by unreliable jerks who can’t control their sperm shooter for vaginal intercourse so that either A) she won’t get pregnant when his shooter misfires prematurely or B) to prevent the spread of diseases. If he/she has a disease, fuck sex of any kind with that strumpet, ass hat. You have to drop that bitch/man slut like a hot turd and reevaluate your life. What difference does it make whether or not a condom tastes like cherry or lemon or diarrhea? I didn’t realize that vaginas had taste buds. MORE »