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Subject: [none]
Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2008 02:21:54 -0600
From: “Minzes, Shawn Edward (UMC-Student)” < semy8c@mizzou.edu >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com

Dear The Rigolega,

Your website is fuckin ballinhoneys.org. That Shit is pretty fuckin hilarious (all 1 article that I read). Anyway if your website magically turned into a person (guy or girl) I would fuck it and fuck it hard.

Love,
S.P.

---

To: rigolega@yahoo.com
From: “Will Marshall” < wam128@sbcglobal.net >
Subject: praise to rigolega Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 18:57:45 -0800 (PST)

Rigolega, I go to school with your brother [redacted] and he turned me onto your site a couple years ago. May I just say that your web page now rivals the bible in terms of guidelines to live by and is the embodiment of my ideals in written form. It is the fulfillment of justice upon those too busy tonguing their own gooches to pull their ego inflated heads out of their own ass. I just recently read your Notre Dame alumni article and I as well share a strong loathing for that smug group of circle jerks. I am pretty sure that I would rather have my scrotum stretched over my head than have to talk to anyone of those self-molesting pricks for more than a couple of seconds. Anyways I was wondering if you ever thought about writing a piece focused the gale force winds caused by the incessant flapping of vaginas and/or faces of feminists. I am pretty sure I know your sgrayce on this plague of stupidity amongst the race of women, but I’m sure I could be further enlightened by your great knowledge on people who suck.

Longtime fan and supporter. keep fightin’ the good fight
Will

---

If fan mail makes me laugh, catalyzes a thought or asks a relatively intelligent and relevant question, I’ll post it here for now. Lucky you.

S.P.

Thank you.

Will,

It’s good to know that people back in Chicago are reading. Not just my site, I mean reading in general. So thanks for reading.

As for an article about feminists, it’s inherent that feminists are dumb and have no doubt pissed me off. But I don’t think it’s necessary for me to write about it at this point, since the topic has been discussed exhaustively in the past. Maddox and Tucker Max, two of the biggest influences on my site and in my writing, can explain it in a much more intelligent and hilarious manner than I ever could at this point. But hey, if a feminist does something exceptionally stupid, outside of purely existing, maybe I’ll write something about it. Or maybe not. I still have a lot of jokes about my penis to tell, so if I get around to it, you’ll read it.

---

To: rigolega@yahoo.com
From: “JM < deathwish42@gmail.com >
Subject: Site
Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2008 05:48:08 -0500

In a world where penile ejected shit spamming fucks are common you sir take a prize, you are an incredibly small piece of shit eating fucktard… which consequently reminds me of a time I saw a black guy shitting something that resembled you almost completely. but that`s beside the point, you see after taking time of my massively imporgrayt and occupied schedule of doing whatever the fuck I want to do in a weekend where I most likely never put pants on so as to admire my long schlong to read your magnificently fucked up attempt at what I believe was intended to be some sort of kinder gardeners version of a website back in 10 million BC. I have for some odd reason that I probably should attribute to the consgrayt beating of my massive dick or flinging of my nuts against inocent by passers who consequently have a sex change operation performed by a blind hobo after seeing my nuts cause they suck in comparison and the epiphany that they shall never be men of any kind dawns on them decided to both laud an congratulate your flatulent ass for writing that web page which has irrevocably wasted a couple of seconds from my life (these I further demand be returned to me) that is all.
bow before me your true god.
Joe Montgomery (geoffs genious cousin who is stuck in south america due to selling nuclear weapons to stupid aliens 2000 years ago whilst inventing porn and fucking all sexy biblical chicks)

---

Thank you kindly for your input. My sincerest apologies for wasting precious seconds of your time; time that you could have used doing something constructive like getting a vasectomy or having sex with a microwave…anything to keep your sperm dormant and useless.

It isn’t every day I get to hear from a “genious” fan like you. I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but the chances that you can comprehend, let alone use, irony is a stretch. Thanks for the laugh though.

---

To: rigolega@yahoo.com
From: “India Alexis” < indiaalexismba@mac.com >
Subject: [none]
Date: Thu, 31 May 2007 11:07:21 -0400

You are an idiot. White guys rarely get shot in ghettos. I wish more of them did so that people like you would have a basis for your stupid beliefs.

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As much as I love reading through every single article I’ve ever written in order to find what you assholes are bitching about, it’d be great if you all could pull your heads out of your asses for just a minute and tell me which article you’re complaining about before sending me email requests to rearrange your face. India here is bitching about an article I wrote in ‘04 about why pandas suck. Who cares if white people rarely get shot in ghettos? The point is pandas suck, are dumb and are asking for it, much like any moron who walks into a shit neighborhood with expensive fur. Do reading comprehension and context elude you, India? I’d ask you to tell Kamau Kambon to go fuck himself the next time you see him, but you probably wouldn’t get the context of that either you fucking dunce.

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Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2007 14:45:15 -0700
From: “Jessica Grasby” < roogan87@yahoo.com >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com

You absolutely disgust me. Is this your way of getting attention?

---

There is nothing that gets my dick harder than when I succeed. Hence, my dick is always hard. When I read this email, I sprung a huge rubbery one that was so epic, it changed the jet stream throughout America and caused a severe Nor’easter. This email was short, sweet, to the point and proof that my site is doing exactly what I intended it to do: piss idiots off. So thanks for proving that my site is successful, Jessica. And as always, go fuck yourself.

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Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:20:14 -0700
From: “Raven Winn” < mi_lady_raven@yahoo.com >
Subject: non-conformists lol
To: rigolega@yahoo.com

wow, I totally agree with that whole thing…maybe not for the sterotypes of punk and goths because they vary so widly, but it istrue that everyone who says they don’t cnoform, already do, it’s from bitrht that you do, plus youn have to have SOME conformity in the world, I mean, what happens if someone decided to “not conform” while driving, man there would be a lot of dead people. which reminds me, I do have to ask, where did you get the sleeping with dead corpses thing? I have never heard of so called “punks” doing that. I mean, anarchy is a big thing with punks I will admit, and I don’t know why any punk would say their not conforming, I know a ot who are like “Real punks wouldn’t say that, poser punks would cause their dumbasses”. As for the whole emo shit, lol, there all need to go die anywho, their all pathetic. Foor goth, yes us goths conform to wearing black and being dark, a lot of your information came from the stereotype I do have to say., because only someone who believes in the stereotypical goth would say “I fuck dead animals”, we don’t really do that, nor are most goths sagrayic, although some are, I mean, damn, I met a preppy family once that said they were sagrayist and it suprised me entirerly.And about half of the goth population is vegans or veggitarians…why would they fuck dead animals? I’d probly have to read the article again to give more acctual factation on this, i’ve serious never heard a goth say “i’m a non-conformist” and mean it, me and my friends joke all the time about that stuff, cause it’s funny to make fun of the pathetic and worthless, whom call themselve “non conformists”, they need to go play in traffic, anywho, thats all I have to say, I did love the rant though very enjoyable, lol.

---

As much as I appreciate fan mail, it pains me to see that my fans are just as dumb the people that really hate me. Just read that one highlighted “sentence.” God damn it, do you people have some extreme strain of palsy that not only cripples you from typing like a healthy human but also causes you to miss the myriad misspellings and grammatical errors in your emails, or are you all really that stupid? It makes me wish you morons would “not conform when driving” and save me the hassle of smothering you with my nuts. But at least I learned that “about half the goth population” consists of vegans and vegetarians. As if I needed another reason to declare how much they suck.

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Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2006 22:14:10 -0400
From: “Sarah” < evilpony@adelphia.net >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com
Subject: i was looking atyour website.

you mention some worthy references, but on the whole, your personal bias
and vehement hatred prevents you from making a polished and effective argument.
kudos for trying, but maybe before your angry little fingers pound out another diatribe, you’ll stop to realize that by allowing your emotions to shine through - you appear insecure, aggressive, and intimidated by the very people you’re speaking out against.

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Just when I thought some of my readers might have a modicum of intelligence, just when I start to think that some people might get the whole point of my site, someone comes along and shits all over that idea. My “personal bias and vehement hatred” prevents me from making “a polished and effective argument”? No fucking shit you dumbass, that’s the point. I don’t present any arguments on my site because there is no arguing anything I say; everything on here is right. This site was put up to spite morons like you who take ridiculous statements and topics seriously.

You go on to say I come off as “insecure, aggressive and intimidated,” by the people I speak out against for letting my emotions shine through. Thanks for the free session Dr. Phil, but the only emotion I ever have is outright and furious rage at you morons who read this site and take it to heart. How dense can you fuck sticks be? I really wish I knew which page you read to spur this poorly structured analysis of my psyche, but I’d guess you were too busy looking up big words like “diatribe” to try to give your clueless email some semblance of depth to mention which article it was, you dumb cock. And if you’re going to use higher level vocabulary in an attempt to sound intelligent, at least make the effort to type like someone who doesn’t pour concrete for a living. The only thing worse than a complete dumbass is a complete dumbass trying to sound intelligent.

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From: “Laneyah Whalen” < joli_95@yahoo.com >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com
Subject: hey!!!!
Date: Wed, 2 Aug 2006 08:02:38 -0700 (PDT)

I do and dont agree with you. I dont agree with you about Goths style because you know im one of them and i dont like people dissing me and my friends but i do agree about the non-conformists because we all really do think or something the same as atleast one person in the world. Well bye

P.S. Goths don’t sleep with corpsses or in coffins just to let you know thats only vampires and the living dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! L.O.L.

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Date: Wed, 2 Aug 2006 12:09:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: “J Rigolega”
Subject: Re: hey!!!!
To: “Laneyah Whalen”

Laneyah,

First, let me say congratulations to you. You are the first person to whom I have ever directly and amicably responded to in email format concerning the web page. It must be great to feel my superior radiance while you read this email. Secondly, I thank you for reading my web page. It’s encouraging to know that complete strangers read and react to it, since I originally created it just to spite some friends. Finally, just know that a lot of the things I say on the page are over exaggerated for the purposes of comedy, satire, getting people’s attention, causing people to think and, most imporgraytly, to piss idiots off. Do I honestly believe Goths have sex with dead animals? Not really. Do I believe most Goths are self-righteous pricks for saying they are non-conformists? Absolutely. Also, I never said Goths sleep with corpses; I said Punks sleep with corpses. But thanks for the information in your postscript. I know I’ll remember it the next time I consider sleeping with a Goth…which is never. Anyway, thanks for reading my page and thinking a little bit. Tell your friends, enemies and co-workers about it so that they might be enlightened.

-The Great Rigolega

This was the original email I sent to Laneyah almost one year ago. She brings up a good point when she says she agrees with me. However, her argument becames flawed soon after when she says she disagrees with me. She also mentions she’s a goth, which is inherently stupid because goths suck. So Laneyah, good job being the first person I amicably responded to about the site. Maybe all the people who read my site aren’t stupid bags of suck. Just kidding, you suck too based on the transitive property: Goths = suck, Laneyah = goth, so Laneyah = suck. Nice try though.

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From: “Brett Jones” < michellerocks@optusnet.com.au >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com
Subject: what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2006 07:52:07 +1000

who the fuck are u to say all of this?? just look at ur self look at ur dip stick little shit hole of a site u are the 1 tellen every 1 to stop bitchen about everything but here u are bitchen about everything!! u should rely go fuck your self u are sum 30 year old loser who thinks he know everything go fuck ur self, stop putten poepl in to groups and sayen that just coss they all call them selfs the same thing or look the same or dress the same or even talk then same dose not mean the think the same, fuck!!!! u realy piss me off i hope u get hit by a fucken car with me driven it, u say all this about every 1 to make your pice of shit life sound better, just to make ur old ass feel better, as u read this, getten ur dog to lick ur balls and fuck ur mom i hope you rot in hell and think about it befor u go fucken bitchen about something u know nothing about fuck stick so fuck u and c u in hell i will be waiteng for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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From: “Brett Jones” < michellerocks@optusnet.com.au >
To: rigolega@yahoo.com
Subject: More Hate Mail
Date: Sat, 13 May 2006 11:40:05 +1000

So what makes you think you’re an non-comformast when all you do is exactly the same as every other poser. What do you think you’re doing, you’re sitting here pissing and moaning that everyone else is calling themselves non-comformast when you’re doing exactly the same thing. In fact you’ve dedicated a whole fucking site to it so how dare you say that everyone else whinges at least they haven’t made a whole fucking site about it! You fucking hipocrit! How dare you say all that shit about every other group people are allowed to be what they want to be and if they think they are a non-comformast then good for them! You’re not God you don’t control how people think, people are allowed to dress and think they way they want to not the way you want them to! You’re probably some stupid fat 30 year old slob that still lives with his parents so I wouldn’t be critising the way other people live! Goths have every right to dress the way they want to they don’t go around harming anyone else so what’s your big fucking problem? And don’t you dare say anything about Punks not rebelling against the government! How big is America? It’s fucking huge they have the big fucking weapons of mass destruction how is a bunch of people supposed to rebel against that? Which brings me to the point, why do you think it’s your god given right to bitch about everyone and then say “well I don’t want to complain”! Leave emos alone, I’m not a fan of them either but they are still people and they can dress like that if they want! So how bout you just shut up and fuck off and just sponge of your parents a little longer and get yourself a nice little apartment ok. And you go tell a group of punks or goths that they’re stupid ok and we’ll see what you think of them then. And one last thing FUCK YOU CUNT!!!!!!
Kim

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Kim, I can see you don’t like that I am “sitting here pissing and moaning that everyone else is calling themselves non-comformast” when I’m “doing exactly the same thing.” You mean kind of like what you’re doing right now? You call me a hipocrit because I’ve created a page where I complain that everyone whinges. Isn’t that what you’re doing right now? Whining? I don’t remember forcing you to come to my site. As I say in my disclaimer, if you don’t like the site, leave. Then you go on to say that “people are allowed to dress and think they way they want to not the way you want them to!” Well, if you’d take your head out of your ass for just a few minutes, you’d realize that I am exercising the right to think the way I want and not the way you want me to think, you putz. People have the right to be complete morons (as you have so ineptly proven in each of your poorly written pieces of e-mail) just as much as I have the right to berate and belittle them for being morons. Saying that goths can dress and think as they please while complaining about what I think on my own personal webpage is astonishingly dense. Who’s the hypocrite now, ass hat?

You prattle on and say, in reference to my non-conformist page, that “Goths have every right to dress the way they want to they don’t go around harming anyone else so what’s your big fucking problem?” I guess you never learned the fine art of using periods and semicolons to break up your asinine statements into somewhat coherent sentences. Do they not teach that in Australia anymore? I’m assuming that when you say gothic dress has never harmed anyone, you are speaking in a physical sense since I doubt the idea of emotional or psychological pain can permeate your thick skull. Well, my writing has never caused physical pain to anyone either. The “big fucking problem” I have is that goths dress the way they do to simply garner undeserved attention. Instead of going out and not being giant bags of suck, they choose to hide under the label of being different based on the clothes they wear. Show me one thing that makes them different or innovative other than the fact that they are starved for attention and I wouldn’t have a problem.

You make mention to “Punks” not being able to rebel against America. You deduce that America is too big and has too many weapons of mass destruction to rebel against the government. That would explain why America still has legal segregation, right? I mean, America was big back in those days and we had weapons of mass destruction then. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcom X certainly took these facts into account and went home with their dicks between their legs, right? I mean, if they rebelled against segregation, America’s first reaction would be to drop atomic and napalm bombs on them, right? I undersgrayd that you live in Australia, Kim, but that doesn’t excuse you from being a complete dumbass. The reason “punks” can’t rebel against the government is because there’s nothing to rebel against.

Finally, after all of this blathering, you get to your convoluted point. You ask, “why do you think it’s your god given right to bitch about everyone and then say ‘well I don’t want to complain’!” I can’t recall a single insgrayce where I’ve said I don’t want to complain. Ever. Since every problem you’ve had with my page is based on one article, the non-conformity one, I scourged it for that phrase and did not find one insgrayce where I said such a thing, you libelous prick. Then you indirectly state that it is not my “god given right” to say whatever I want. I can accept that idea if it applies to you as well but since you took time out of your meaningless existence to exercise your “god given right” to bitch at me, it must also apply to me. But why should I expect a cohesive argument from an ass whose reading comprehension is morbidly weak and love of double sgraydards is so high?

Also, if you yourself don’t care for emo people, don’t crusade for them. I’ll bet as sucky as they are even they wouldn’t want a messy bitch like you representing them. Just because I display them in a negative light doesn’t mean I can’t say it. Ask yourself, if I were displaying them in a positive light, would it bother you? Probably not, because now you’re just looking for things to bitch about. Tool.

Last but not least, you assume that I am a “30 year old slob that still lives with his parents.” I guess talking out of your ass without any backup evidence is just as good as knowing what you’re talking about. You then say, “So I wouldn’t be critising the way other people live!” Is that the same as criticizing people? If so, then no, you wouldn’t be criticizing them. I am the one doing the criticizing, and that’s why you wrote to me, a complete stranger, in the first place. What you just did was not criticizing. It was making blind assumptions and double sgraydard arguments (read: acting like a drunk with his cock caught in his zipper). Way to go.

But let’s continue to assume that I do indeed live with my parents for a minute. You believe that if I were to get my own apartment that I would suddenly have an appreciation for goths and punks. Well, I’ll keep that in mind the next time I go anywhere; my opinions will drastically change the next time my surroundings change slightly. Great assumption ass bag. So the next time I go into an apartment building, I will “go tell a group of punks or goths that they’re stupid ok and we’ll see what you think of them then.” Your malformed sentence makes perfect sense because there will inherently be a group of punks and/or goths in that apartment building at the same time as I am. Get a fucking clue you dunce. Unless punks or goths do something like cure cancer or give me a billion dollars (which won’t happen since they’re too busy sucking), my opinion of them will remain the same, whether I’m in an apartment or not.

At first I wasn’t sure if the first e-mail was real as it was so mind numbingly stupid. But the second e-mail came in and made an attempt to skull fuck me with its weak arguments, poor attempt at correct grammar usage and myriad of double sgraydards. So Kim I’d like to thank you for reassuring me that there are morons in the southern hemisphere. Don’t get me wrong; you had a good argument going until you sat down and typed it out. But look at it this way: at least now you can say you’ve been chastised on my page for being such a sloppy bitch. Your double sgraydard arguments don’t seem as powerful and thought provoking as they did when you sent it at 2 AM, do they? Oh, and I better not, “dare say anything about Punks not rebelling against the government,” eh? I better watch out; Miss Mind Fuck is getting upset. What are you going to do about it? Oh right, you’ll write me a poorly structured e-mail proving the depth of your stupidity. Congratulations, you now have a highlight in your life. Dumbass.

Disclaimer

If you’re going to send me email, you are setting yourself up for ridicule. In sending me emails of any sort, be it hate mail, fan mail or otherwise, you are giving me permission to use any and all contents of the email, including your name, address, email address and any other contents found within the email at my discretion. Also, I become the sole proprietor of the email and all of its contents and may distribute it to anyone for whatever use they want. This disclaimer is subject to change without warning and whenever I feel like changing it. You’re responsible for abiding by any and all changes in the disclaimer. If you don’t like it, don’t send me email.

-People have sent me hate mail. Rigolega is spreading.