So after embarrassing myself in front of all of my buddies and disrespecting Janet, I did what any mature adult would do: I cut off contact with her and watched more porn than is even personally acceptable. Nothing takes thing sting out of the ego like cock chafe.

Two months after the debacle, I went to my buddy TheBear’s housewarming party. I got drunk, hit on girls relentlessly and made fun of a girl who said I looked like the Fonz. She wasn’t laughing when I punched her in her jukebox. Eyyy, bitch.

After a long night of drinking shamelessly flirting and getting absolutely no where with any of the girls at the party, I decided to go home and get in touch with myself. Apparently, “Your tits look very supple in that dress,” isn’t as big a turn on as I’d thought. But the gods of coincidence had other things in mind and as I’m walking out, who walks in?

“Hey,” Janet says with a smile. “What’s up?”
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I take pride in my uncanny ability to spin phrases and words into a complex web of cleverness and hilarity. I can sell snow to an Eskimo and oftentimes when I finish speaking, I have to change my shirt due to the instantaneous increase in humidity caused by the vast number of freshly moistened vaginas in my immediate vicinity. My penchant for saying funny things was one of the reasons I got laid in the first place. After a few days of no contact with this girl, “Janet,” I figure it’s time to sell my snowballs to this Eskimo.

Tuesday rolls around. I’m bored out of my mind, so I figure I’ll try for a booty call. I’ve never had the opportunity to set up a booty call before so I’m completely out of my element. So I did what I always do when I need some time to ponder a problem: I took a shit. MORE »

College is a place for ideas to flourish, for knowledge to be gained and after you get past all the polite horseshit, a place to get drunk and laid. For the first half of my college career, I wasn’t doing much of the latter. But even a blind squirrel will eventually find a nut and fortunately the squirrel that found mine was neither blind nor a squirrel. And little did I realize just how inexperienced I was in the realm of sexual fancy; blue balls, booty calls and cock-blockage were simply theories and myths in my grand illusion of what happens before, during and after one’s man-plow tills the field. This is the story of my experience and the aftermath of my first lay. MORE »

Like I said a few months ago, I have been working extensively on redesigning and overhauling the look of Rigolega, as well as some of the content. With the help of my brother, the redesign has been completed. Some things you’ll notice:

• The layout is more bloggy looking than the other crap heap was. It makes it easier for me to post and probably makes it easier for you to read. It’s a lot cleaner looking too.

• The new site is also equipped with a “comments” option for specific articles I write. This means that any reader can submit thoughts about anything he/she (most likely he) wants as long as it is relevant to the article. I have the power to authorize and delete comments, but as long as no one spams this feature, I’ll let just about anything go. Who am I to keep you from spouting off like idiots on the internet? I do it all the time.

• I have new contact information: . So if you want to get in touch with me privately/quickly, leave comments about the site in general, layout, etc., feel free to email me here. However, I will still reserve the right to use your email as I please on my site, unless you explicitly tell me not to. And even then, I’ll still post it nine times out of ten.

• You can subscribe to Live Feeds on the new site. So if you can’t get enough Rigolega fast enough, this will be for you. I’m going to be updating on a more regular basis with this new site as well, let’s say, at least once a week, if not more. This may vary, depending upon how much masturbating I need to do.

Thanks to my brother at moarplox.com for the layout overhaul and transfer of all the stuff. Thanks also to Burk at Hey Suburbia for being bitter, frustrated and hilarious both on the web and in real life and reassuring me that my website is awesome.