30 June 2009 - 23:00Fuck Mumblers

If there’s one thing that gives me blood-tinged diarrhea worse than a Crave Case, it’s people who mumble and get pissed when you ask them to repeat themselves. What’s worse is when you have a contractual obligation to help people, and instead of providing relevant information pertaining to their problem, they mumble off a list of completely unrelated problems, be it how many times they’ve bitched about the same problem in the past or how all the worry over the problem has given them a rash on their crotch and the dog’s tongue burns when she comes in for her twice daily slob-job. Then, on top of making your attempt to help more unbearable than sitting cheeks spread on hot coals with an anal fissure, this asshole will deem your help as less than satisfactory if it doesn’t automatically and immediately turn piss into gasoline. It’s like giving to St. Mary of the Festering Areola Orphanage only to have an orphan come to your house and kick you in the dick because your donation didn’t lead to them finding loving parents. Fucking orphans. MORE »