Just when I think I cannot possibly hate the institution of journalism any more, it comes around and takes a gigantic shit in my mouth, then fucks me with a gangrenous corpse cock. This time, allow me to direct my anger at Clay Travis, sports journalist/shitsmith extraordinaire. This guy is a fucking jerkoff asshat cunt who makes his living being “irreverent” about sports and hoisting bags of cocks on his shoulders.

First, let’s get past the fact that a career in sports journalism is about as respectable as a career raking pig shit. But this scrotum squeezer cements himself in the Everything That’s Wrong With Journalism Hall of Fame for his most recent abortion of an interview involving Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. MORE »

As a little experiment, I’ve decided to give fellow writer English Rob an opportunity to argue with me on a topic for which we share equal but conflicting passions: anal sex. This is Rigolega’s Point-Counterpoint: Anal Sex Edition.

POINT: PRO-ANAL

by Rigolega

Anal sex is a shadowy muse. For many it is the red button we are told not to press lest we want shit to hit the fan. Not since Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time has such a small hole commanded so much attention, inspired so much awe and crushed anything that passed its event horizon as aptly as the asshole. What is the appeal to sticking extremities, genitals and, if the occasion dictates, fists and feet up the poop chute? Why are so many fascinated with the prospect of anal sex? MORE »

Webster’s dictionary recently updated its books with about 100 new words. I’m a big fan of new words making their way into the American lexicon. Words like shitpussy, douche chill and smegma serve as colorful consolidators, making the language more potent and effective in description. What I can’t stand is when words clutter the language with inefficiency and fluffiness. There are three words on this new list that make me want to rip off my penis and eye fuck myself for this very reason. I also think that people who use these words henceforth ought to be required to cut off their feet with a rusty shiv and kick their own asses.

Frenemy: Defined as “someone who acts like a friend, but is really an enemy,” this word is about as useful as a second scrotum. MORE »

http://williamhpowell.wordpress.com/

One of my buddies  just began writing his own blog. He’s an excellent writer, works at the New York Times, and, most importantly, once wrote a biography about my escapades for a class of his. He got an A, partly because he’s really good at writing, but mostly because I am incredibly interesting.

So, if you need a break from the rough mental fucking my writing provides, visit Bill’s blog. It’s a lot less angry than mine, sometimes insightful and very well written.

http://williamhpowell.wordpress.com/

From: Chesterfield 2 (sephitroph69@yahoo.com)

To: Rigolega/ChesterfieldKing

Date: 24 Jun 2009 – 16:29

Chesterfield 1, you’re a humongous fag. These blog posts are not funny they’re stupid. You’re gay.

Your inane senseless ramblings mean nothing on this planet, two people read this blog.

Also Rigolega you too are a fag. I  clicked the link to your site and it is the biggest and shitiest Onion ripoff I’ve ever come across. You are a little turd like Chesterfield who gets fucked in his ass like a bitch.

Have fun writing your crappy blogs once every two months and keep sucking dick maybe one day your dad will pay you for it.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-

Ah, to be 15 again. Nothing like getting out of remedial summer school classes, jerking off to scat porn and firing off angry messages to strangers. I remember those days. Except without the remedial summer school classes, scat porn or emailing strangers, because I wasn’t a fucking failure when I was 15. MORE »

This one time I was taking a shit in a water purification aqueduct and there was a pregnant woman crying in the corner. I asked her why she was sad and she said it was because she’d had an unplanned pregnancy from a migrant gangbang she’d participated in weeks earlier, but she was morally opposed to abortion. Being hungry, I shoved my head into her womb so that I might consume the fetus in one bite. However, I was immediately crippled by a hauntingly comatose, yet rage inspiring melody. As I searched for the source, my eyes fell upon the rapidly developing and unwanted fetus. But as it stared back at me, its cold, soulless visage void of warmth or lovability, I realized this wasn’t the bastard of a yard worker seeding marathon, but the physical embodiment of Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight. Incited with fury, I consumed the parasite, tearing it limb from limb so that the world might never be burdened with such a tragic mistake.
Unfortunately, from the shits I later took arose the perverse phoenix that is Phil Collins’ career. However, as with all tragedies, there was a positive side, and as a result of my Phil Collins spawning shit, Roe v. Wade continues to prevail lest we risk producing another Phil Collins as a result of a should be abortion deferred. MORE »