How about instead of having foreign countries pay their debts to America, we just pay Bono in millions of album sales?!

I’ve had a problem with Bono for quite sometime. He’s always come off as a hippy son-of-a-bitch. Well now he has yet another title to add to his name…

Hypocritical dunce.

By now, everyone’s seen that commercial with Bono and his band of sissies advertising for Apple ipods by using a song off of U2’s new album. I thought Bono was against this whole idea of globalization…doesn’t advertising for a huge conglomerate like Apple just speed the process of bringing the world under America’s thumb? If people are buying iPods all over the world, isn’t that speading exactly what you’re fighting? The sale of iPods promotes file downloading which, in turn, hurts the music industry. Now, while the music industry gouges CD prices, when people download these songs for lower prices over the internet, the music industry can’t bring in the green it needs in America. So where do the CD manufacturers go? That’s right…overseas. This is exactly what Bono is crusading against. He’ll talk about how he’s anti-globalization and bitch about people in debt, but then he goes and makes a commercial that supports everything he preaches against? I smell a hypocrite.

Then, on top of being a hypocrite in the commercial, Bono displays his ability to be a complete idiot. In the opening line of the song “Vertigo” (or at least in the commercial), Bono counts in Spanish. Now, I’ve been to concerts. I’m in a band. When you count, it normally goes “One, two, three, four” and you start. In the commercial, Bono shrieks, “Uno, dos, tres, catorce!” Which in English means “One, two, three, fourteen!” This confused me, because I was under the impression that fourteen came after thirteen, not three. Face it, it’s not catchy, it’s not clever, it’s a prime example of a raging dumbass.

So without further ado, I’d like to present Bono with this “Hypocrite of the week” award. Be proud Bono. You’re doing what only a few billion people do everyday: being a lying, hypocritical, self-serving son-of-a-bitch. Here’s a picture of a typical day in the life of Bono.

Got hypocracy?

So remember kids, when you buy a U2 album, not only is Bono’s hypocracy shining through, but you’re also directly funding the KKK. Who’s the asshole now? Seriously, don’t listen to Bono ramble on about how he hates something and wants to help something because he’ll just turn around and do the opposite of it. Oh and I almost forgot to mention…

U2 sucks.

There. Hypocrite week is over. But it will be back again soon enough. Until then, feel free to listen to your trendy music, wear your Abercrombee sweaters, and laugh at shitty Fox “reality” programming. Let it fucking die already. This is pissing me off. I’m going to drink hellfire sauce. Piss off.

-”Vertigo” is the KKK’s new anthem.