My brother in Chicago almost got jumped and wrote this story.

It was approximately 9:40pm on Wednesday, September 30th. I had just spent the entire day at school. On Wednesdays, I leave my house at 10:30am and sit through classes until 4:45pm in the Loop. However, today I had planned to visit my roommate and other friends from last year, because I hadn’t seen them for a few months. So right out of my last class, I catch a Brown Line to their apartment, have a good time, and catch up with them. Leaving their apartment at about 8:30pm, I take the Brown Line to the Addison stop and transfer onto the Addison bus (route 152). As the bus rolls on in, I notice that it’s pretty full. Nobody was standing; all but one seat were taken. I take my seat, sitting toward the middle of the bus, in the aisle. Looking around, I noticed that the a ton of people on this bus were wearing Cubs apparel. Makes sense. There was a game tonight. As the bus becomes less crowded, I decide to grab my own pair of seats. I’ve now got a window seat. It’s not until I’m about 10 minutes away from my stop that I notice four guys sitting across the aisle.

These four become significant as the story progresses, so let me describe them. MORE »

I saw I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell at a premiere in Lawrence, Kansas. The sound system was shitty, I sat in front of a bunch of belligerent douche bags and the laughter, though sincere, drowned out half the jokes. I walked out of the theater disappointed in everything, other than meeting Tucker Max and Nils Parker and getting a bunch of stuff signed by them.

So I walked out feeling a bit empty at the film itself. I decided it needed a second viewing. I walked into the premiere with impossibly high expectations, dealt with a horrible sound system and was preoccupied with the child molesting ass cunts behind me the entire time. So I saw it again today, hopeful that factors of which I had no control contributed to my slight disappointment.

Bluntly stated: Go see this movie. MORE »

leviweaver.com

Check out his site. He’s got a good view on the music industry and fans. He’s also a pretty cool guy generally.

There are some great ways to defeat boredom. Reading my website, masturbating while reading my website and having sex while reading my website are all just a few ways I defeat boredom every day. But now, there’s another way to defeat boredom that works:

Defeating Boredom

This is English Rob’s website. It’s a good mix of funny and authentic. So, if you ever get tired of the violent swings between banality and overt existential crises on this site, similar to that of an alcoholic father giving his son a piggy back ride then piledriving him through a glass table, visit Rob’s site. It’s great.

Yesterday, my girlfriend asked me for a synonym for the word “anal.” After the requisite “butt sex” joke, I did a Google search of the word in hopes of finding a synonym, but also just to see how many pages of anal sex porn links I’d have to go through before I found a dictionary reference to it. In the process, I ended up stumbling across quite possibly the funniest website on the internet, next to mine:

http://www.sexinchrist.com/index.html

I have never had a website make me stop and ask “what the fuck?” more often than this site. When I read one of the headlines, “Fisting and God’s Will,” my brain simply did not comprehend those four words together in that pattern. It felt like the first time you watch violent pornography: you’re a little scared, kind of confused but very intrigued. And though everything points to this site being parody, the funniest part is that there’s a chance that this is legit. Not only can I see this being serious, but really hope it is, as it would be 100 times funnier.

Either way, read this site only after you’ve gone through mine and memorized it word for word.

As a little experiment, I’ve decided to give fellow writer English Rob an opportunity to argue with me on a topic for which we share equal but conflicting passions: anal sex. This is Rigolega’s Point-Counterpoint: Anal Sex Edition.

POINT: PRO-ANAL

by Rigolega

Anal sex is a shadowy muse. For many it is the red button we are told not to press lest we want shit to hit the fan. Not since Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time has such a small hole commanded so much attention, inspired so much awe and crushed anything that passed its event horizon as aptly as the asshole. What is the appeal to sticking extremities, genitals and, if the occasion dictates, fists and feet up the poop chute? Why are so many fascinated with the prospect of anal sex? MORE »