Spelling it out for the slow.

If you had to ask yourself why I said it’s even better that a student wrote the hate mail than an actual alum, this site might not be for you. You’re probably better served choking on air, you dumbass. First and foremost, it doesn’t matter. The fact that a Notre Dame student wrote the hate mail doesn’t take away from the fact that Notre Dame blows. All it does is show that one student had the presence of mind to know that people would believe that a Notre Dame alum would get pissed off about something written in a school newspaper and respond. It wouldn’t have had the same effect if he wrote it as a student, because no one cares what college kids think. The hate mail, not unlike the previous sentence, is an example of satire.

satire [sāt'īr']: “the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.” (Dictionary.com)

Believe it or not, there are people who don’t suck at Notre Dame. I’m sure there are graduates from Notre Dame who don’t suck (maybe). If I have to spell that out for you, the fact that not everyone at Notre Dame blows, stop reading this website. It’s not for you. Time and time again, people who read things on my site take these things too seriously. Get over it. If you can’t, go away. I don’t need self-righteous morons here.

-People also asked me to advise them how to not get their dicks caught in their zipper for them during this article.